I've spent the last half a day feeling really resentful with one of my roommates for not including me in his social life. But then it eventually dawned on me that this guy doesn't owe me anything. He is not obliged to be my friend. Or treat me in a way that I would prefer. I've only lived in the current home for about a month. I guess I've finally seen everyone of my roommate's true colors. Some are better than others. Or rather some are more open to me than others. Now that I think I have everyone's personality worked out, I can make more concrete decisions about how I feel about each one of them.

One conclusion I've been drawing for a couple of weeks is that I don't feel strongly about living here. I know it is early days, but so far my consistent impression is that I don't like living here. As things stand, I'll look to move out when another suitable place comes to my attention.

Part of me still continues to feel incredible resentment towards being a member of the church. At the moment I really hate life inside the church.

Today I've been listening to old EFY cds. EFY music makes me happy. If only I knew how to live like the lyrics in those songs. Like ...'staying faithful to the end'....sounds like it is easier said than done.